Blood! Firemen!
So tonight was pretty exciting too! Long story short: I snorted a bit of liquid and went into a gagging gurgle. In the bathroom, blood exploded out my left nostril. OK, I can self firstaid, I pinch, I tip WAY back and pinch. HARD. Blood continues pouring out. I swallow, gag, panic. Manage to give Dan the new Premera brochure, "find a consulting nurse!", but then gargle, FUCK THAT call 911.
3 minutes later, Nice Firemen show up, ready to comfort me. I snuffle: "Earl workin tonight?" which gets a laugh. They take my blood pressure and mention numbers I've never heard before: 240/120?
what are you usually? I tell them I'm always low, 120/80 kinda stuff. They take it again in 15 minutes. and keep me calm. People-- I was spewing blood outa the front of my face and it wasn't pretty. It was scary enough to call firemen to come into my messy house. I tell the nice firemen I'm the manager of Seattle Mystery, look around, which they do. I said to Dan Tell 'em who wad there yeberday. Dan gets into a long Firesign discuussion with the cute brunette one while i breathed and stopped spewing blood outa the front of my face. I think he was cute. I didn't have my glasses on and said at one point, squinting, I can't see a damn thing, "It's surrealist Firemen in my house!" Brunette replied, "Serraut Firemen!" cute and smart.
Turns out we were told wrong. Pinch real hard but sit up and lean forward. If you pinch and tip WAY BACK like I thought you were sposed to... you swallow bloood and that can cause panic. I can tell you it causes PANIC!!! By the time you read this I've been breathing ok in both nostril, but being gingerly with things.
My blood pressure went down, but they recommend I come to the station and get it checked tomorrow, BY EARL, and then see if it's something to go to the doctor, or just a fluke incident. I'm now breathing ok. But I have a blood soaked towel for souvenier!
I will proudly and gladly pay my taxes, knowing Nice Firemen will show up when I need them for a bloody nose or yankin my ass outa an elevator!
I love Firemen!
posted by Tammy @ 10:46 PM
2 Comments:
Blood and fireman, it doesn't get any better than that.
robert ferrigno
TAMMMYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sheeeeyut, woman, you coulda TOLD somebody!!!
You've been doing all of that trick-trapeze-sex stuff again, haven't you --- that's what happened to your blood pressure!!!
Not to kick you when you're down (and surrounded by cute surrealist firemen), darlin', but you ain't no sprang chicken no' mo', y'kno'.
Heh.
I'm so glad that you're okay. That is fucking scary.
But I do have to be a bummer: When the BM had her "TIA"s (I don't know the technical term, but they're mini-strokes that aren't SUPPOSED to do any permanent damage, but now she's claiming that they do --- I think that they need to quit tweaking her meds so often) --- BLOOD FOUNTAIN outta the nose.
So, y'know, gorgeous firemen notwithstanding, I wish that you would go to a real, actual doctor. 'Cause it could be more than a fluke, and you're just too damned good of a human being to fuck around with these sort of things, 'cause you are very much needed on THIS planet, y'dig?
Don't make the yenta worry, you wouldn't like me when I worry.
(Please tell me that you remember the David Banner quotes...)
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